I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
