Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
