If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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