god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
