Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
