Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
