So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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