I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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