I want to have your abortion
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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