i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
