you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
