I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
