Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
