your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think my fart just growled at me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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