Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I intend to get homeless drunk
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
how drunk are you?
Several
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
