if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
