how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
