At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
