i think i have herpe
just one?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
