i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
