So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
