even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
