He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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