ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
