i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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