Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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