this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
