drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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