ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
