is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
wow bdsm is so cute
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
