Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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