Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
