Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
