They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
