Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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