I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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