I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude i'm inner monologue high
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
