I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
