at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
