used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
