i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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