On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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