I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
