I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
