I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
