saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
