Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize