Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
