woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
