I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Of course I have a pirate flag
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
