never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
