all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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