I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
