In the future we'll all be gay
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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